When you bite your tongue while eating..
You stop chewing and you just sit there for a second like…
Then you feel the agonizing pain…
Yup.
My cookies are fucking goddamn delicious. I want to meet this man.
I SAW WHERE COOKIES WEREN’T
AND SAID
NO
THIS WILL NOT DO
THIS WILL NOT DO
I MADE MY OWN FOOD WITH SCIENCE.
Every time I see this on my dash I smile.
A note to people who like to reinforce stereotypes, I, and I think heterosexual women in general (at least as far as the heterosexual women that I know), tend to think of men who do shit like this as being MORE MASCULINE than the men who walk around calling people “gay” as if it were synonymous with bad, because clearly THIS MAN is secure in his masculinity. And what’s sexier than confidence? So if you want to come across as manly? Stop pulling shit like this and trying to insult people with words that aren’t even insulting, and bake some goddamn cookies.
MY COOKIES ARE FUCKING GODDAMN DELICIOUS
I will always reblog this.
One teachers approach to preventing gender bullying in a classroom
All. The. Fucking. Awards.
Alie arrived at our 1st-grade classroom wearing a sweatshirt with a hood. I asked her to take off her hood, and she refused. I thought she was just being difficult and ignored it. After breakfast we got in line for art, and I noticed that she still had not removed her hood. When we arrived at the art room, I said: “Allie, I’m not playing. It’s time for art. The rule is no hoods or hats in school.”
She looked up with tears in her eyes and I realized there was something wrong. Her classmates went into the art room and we moved to the art storage area so her classmates wouldn’t hear our conversation. I softened my tone and asked her if she’d like to tell me what was wrong.
“My ponytail,” she cried.
“Can I see?” I asked.
She nodded and pulled down her hood. Allie’s braids had come undone overnight and there hadn’t been time to redo them in the morning, so they had to be put back in a ponytail. It was high up on the back of her head like those of many girls in our class, but I could see that to Allie it just felt wrong. With Allie’s permission, I took the elastic out and re-braided her hair so it could hang down.
“How’s that?” I asked.
She smiled. “Good,” she said and skipped off to join her friends in art.
‘Why Do You Look Like a Boy?’
Things I learned from the movies:
1. All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.
2. Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.
3. The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there, and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.
4. Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.
5. It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.
6. A cough is usually the sign of a terminal illness.
7. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.
8. No matter how badly a spaceship is attacked, its internal gravity system is never damaged.
9. Luigi Imbrogno is god.
10. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they’re going to go off.
11. Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.
12. A cup of black coffee or a splash of cold water in the face is enough to render the most inebriated person stone cold sober.
13. If you try hard enough, you can outrun an explosion.
14. If you stick your head out of cover during a gun fight, it will never be hit, especially if you look backwards to hold a conversation with someone behind you.
15. Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are assigned partners who are their total opposite.
16. Honest and hard working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement.
17. You’re very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
18. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
19. Computers never display a cursor on screen but always say: Enter Password Now.
20. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off — even while scuba diving.
21. All watches and clocks are synchronized to the second.
22. No matter how fuzzy the photograph, it can be enlarged and enhanced to show the finest detail.
23. Nearly everyone speaks English, no matter where they are from. Even aliens from outer space, despite the fact they have never been to Earth, seen an Earthling, or even heard of Earth or Earthlings.
24. No matter how catastrophic the disaster, pets will always survive it.
25. There will always be a doctor in a plane or building with the right medical supplies.
26. No matter how dead you think you’ve killed a bad guy, he can still get up at least three more times.
27. People rarely use the bathroom, and if they do, they’re usually dead within minutes.
28. Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.
29. Cemeteries generate their own weather. Usually rainstorms… and not just gentle sprinkles, but biblical downpours.
30. When paying for a taxi, don’t look at your wallet as you take out a bill — just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.
31. Most people keep a scrapbook of newspaper clippings — especially if any of their family or friends have died in a strange boating accident.
32. Cars that fly off cliffs spontaneously combust in midair for no apparent reason.
33. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your room will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.
34. All computer disks will work in all computers, regardless of software.
35. Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at the precise moment that it is aired.
36. Close blood relatives usually look nothing like each other, or have only a passing resemblance.
37. Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds — unless it’s the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.
38. When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
39. An electric fence that’s powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight-year-old child.
40. If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or killer beast, the mayor’s first concern will be the tourist trade or his forthcoming art exhibition.
41. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts — your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
42. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
43. If you are trapped in a tunnel, in a sinking ship, or a burning building, a cute little girl, a nun, and a feisty granny will be trapped with you.
44. All writers are wealthy; all publishing companies are glamorous; all artists are self-supporting and have large attractive well-lit loft studios.
45. Action heroes never face charges for manslaughter or criminal damage despite laying entire cities to waste.
46. During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
47. If an expert makes a prediction and is disbelieved, then it will come to pass exactly as he predicted. If he makes a prediction and is believed, it won’t happen.
48. If there is a large bump in a downhill road, a speeding car will fly over it and hit the ground in shower of sparks. Unsecured passengers will not be injured, and no tire damage, broken axles, or suspension failures will occur. The car will then execute a sharp turn involving a skid.
49. Dogs always know who’s bad and will naturally bark at them.
50. Text appearing on a computer monitor appears letter by letter and making a sound as if it was produced by a typewriter.
51. Nobody looks at explosions. EVER. They simply put on their sunglasses, and walk away, preferably in slow motion, with their hearing perfectly intact.
3, 4, 5, 6, 11, 13, 14, 21, 22, 25, 26, 27, 29, 31, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 41, 42, 43, 46 (Well, it’s preferred…), 47, 48, 49, 50:
Things I Learned From Supernatural.
Amen.
multiple orgasm roll
WHAT THE HELL????
Who the fuck named all of these? xD
EXCUSE ME WHILE I FLAIL AND PROCEED TO ORDER MYSELF A MORK AND MINDY ROLL
Hoo damn! Where am I having to go to get this?!
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
Perfect (Glee Cast Version)
By (Kurt)Chris Colfer and (Blaine)Darren Criss
THIS IS JUST SO GOD DAMN FUCKING PERFFFECT….why the hell did they sing candles and not this?
But holy fuck…this is just amazing!
jesus…we should take all the Pink songs, and give them to Darren an Chris.
NO. WHAT IS THIS WATERFALL COMING DOWN MY FACE.
I have a test in ten minutes… ;A; I’m going to be a wreck.
Real Gay Engagement Los Angeles, CA: Robbie and Allen:
“I (Allen) had been on gay dating sites for years, but never met anyone worth dating. Finally, when the day came for my membership to expire, I logged on that Monday morning to delete my profile and cancel the membership. I had one last “wink” in my inbox to look at, and it was Robbie. I looked at his profile and completely fell for him immediately. His photos brought out his amazing personality, and it was very obvious to me we would get along tremendously.As for Robbie, the experience of us meeting was a little more stressful. Robbie had been struggling with his sexuality for some time. He had peeked at gay dating sites for a while, and came across my profile quite a few times, but wasn’t quite ready to take the leap and create his own profile. One weekend, after a horrible situation with the guy he had gone on a couple dates with, he drove from LA to San Diego where his best friends live so he could clear his mind and focus. Late that night he created his profile, found me, and nervously winked. Jump ahead 24 hours when I responded to him via email, talked on the phone, and met the next day. The rest is history. Had I cancelled my membership a day earlier, or Robbie winked me a day later, we would have never met!
We’re both complete romantics. So, for our 2nd anniversary, Robbie decided to take me on a surprise trip. He told me to get these certain dates off work and to leave the rest to him. He gave me NO clues as to where we were going, and even went as far as to pack all my clothes for me. He woke me up early in the morning, we got ready, got into his car, and started driving. He asked me to open the glove compartment where I found 6 envelopes labeled #1-#6. He had set up a map of locations of which I was only allowed to know where we were going next. Long story short (although you’ll see that NONE of my stories are short), we drove from LA up the California coast on HWY 1 along the amazing coastline. Big Sur for lunch, Moneterey Bay Aquarium in the afternoon, and ended just before sundown at the Ritz Carlton Half Moon Bay. We checked into our beautiful room with a private lanai and firepit, lit a fire, grabbed a glass of wine, and sat outside watching the sunset. Robbie, with the movie “UP” as his inspiration presented me a “Our Adventure Book”….pages and pages of photos of our life together. The last page had a blank page for “future adventures”. He then said, “you have something else inside”. I walked into the room to find something I’d had my eye on for a year….a Luis Vuitton travel duffel bag! In my absolutely excitement, he told me there was one more thing. WHAT!….MORE??? He pulled out the luggage tag, and I opened it, completely shocked. Inside the tag was a card that read “The future starts now. Will you Marry me?” I jumped, screamed “OF COURSE!”, hugged him and cried! To this day, thinking back to that moment still brings me to tears. It was perfect!
Currently our plan is to get officially married in Boston the weekend of October 1. We will have only our very close family in Boston with us, then will have a fantastic event here in Los Angeles where we can share our love with ALL our friends and family.”I was going to queue this, but it’s too cute :c.
I’m literally crying.
And insanely jealous.
Hopefully one day :)
CHILLS
